Porn addiction: Is there hope?
By Alex Murphy, Fort Collins Therapist specializing in Porn Addiction
Relevant Magazine recently published an informative article titled, How Porn is Rewiring the Brains of a Generation, where Ted Shimer describes the pervasive impact of porn on society and Christians. He warns we are at the beginning of the fallout of having an environment where porn and its analogues are available to anyone at any time and the supply of new material is seemingly endless.
Studies reveal surprising correlational statistics among young people with a dramatic increase in erectile dysfunction (33% of men under 40), a preference for porn to real relationships with a corresponding drop in sexual relationships, and an increase in noncommittal hook ups. Shimer mentions a number of studies and cites two in particular to paint the picture of our porn saturated society. One is from Barna Group that reports little difference between Christians and non-Christians in the number of men engaging with porn, and the other is from Freedom Fight which surveyed students at Christian colleges. The stats are staggering: 64% of all Christian men report engaging porn monthly, 89% of college men watch it occasionally, and 54% of the same group say they are addicted. Women experience it too with 51% of the Christian college women surveyed reporting occasional use.
Ted Shimer’s article corroborates the research that reveals there are very real addictive elements to pornography. Porn leads to structural changes in the brain that involve the reward pathway and its main agent of dopamine — a messenger chemical between neurons that cues wanting and motivation. The body of research around this has grown quickly in the last 10 years. Porn has been identified as something called a supranormal stimuli because it triggers different systems that boost excitement and amplify the felt effect of dopamine. When this combines with the hormonal changes that occur in orgasm the cumulative impact is truly intoxicating. It is way more powerful of an addictive activity than watching cat videos or eating your favorite bag of chips. Researchers continue to unfold just how closely porn parallels chemical addiction. Dependency can even develop and people report physically experienced withdrawal symptoms. This media is powerful.
As I work with clients around their porn use, many are often surprised to discover that porn is not really the problem, but rather a symptom. Let me clarify — of course porn use is damaging and something to stop, but it is not the core thing. Rather, it points to a deeper level of hunger and desire in our souls. All of us have wounds, emptiness, and areas of neglect in our stories. We discover or are even taught strategies for coping with these. Many of these strategies are not healthy and diminish us. Somewhere along the way many encounter porn, sex, and erotica and it fits the hole. It forms itself to the shape of our wounds and pretends to be a fulfillment or our need. The truth is they are a poor fix — just a temporary balm to our heart and soul — and are used to destroy so much of the power and goodness God has written into our sexuality and relationships.
God wrote a story of beauty onto our hearts. We are created to live in these good stories as his individually and creatively created creatures and image bearers. Porn and its cousins are tools used to hide this story and damage the image bearer — you. They form and protect an imposter story of shame and isolation.
At ReStory we work to move past the imposter and recover the original story written on the heart. Containing the unwanted sexual behavior is important and part of what we do, but its important to not stop there. True healing and freedom comes with the deeper journey into our created beauty and goodness.
Group experiences are one of our most powerful tools we have for pursuing this. The relationships formed by participants with each other and the group leaders facilitate many unique opportunities for growth not otherwise available. Members gain a small cohort of witnesses, healers, and comforters. This multifaceted bunch engages our mind, heart, and spirit as we labor together for one another’s deeper story of goodness. Truly it embodies the reality that God exists in the Trinity as a holy community and created us to flourish and grow connected to one another.
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Learn More About Alex Murphy, Fort Collins Therapist Specializing in Porn Addiction