Understanding the Tough Moments in Counseling Before the Positive Shift

Have you ever observed how certain facets of your life tend to spiral downward before they eventually take a positive turn? It seems as though things must completely unravel before they can be reconstructed. This phenomenon extends beyond physical spaces, like garages; it also applies to our inner world and emotional well-being. Today, we aim to delve into the concept of the "ReStory Process" and examine why counseling can sometimes exacerbate our feelings before improvement begins.

Each of us has a personal version of a cluttered garage—a place where emotional baggage and unresolved issues accumulate over time. These issues may arise from family dynamics, past traumas, or broken relationships, burdening us and hindering genuine freedom and joy.

The ReStory Process, akin to organizing a disordered garage, seeks to bring order and healing to these aspects of our lives. However, to genuinely restore and transform, we must confront the mess head-on. This entails addressing the underlying stories and beliefs contributing to our pain and struggles.

Initially, when seeking counseling, our primary goal often revolves around finding relief from negative emotions and symptoms. We crave quick fixes and shortcuts to feeling better. Nonetheless, authentic healing requires delving beyond surface-level symptom relief into the deeper, concealed layers of our stories.

During the ReStory Process, we may find ourselves feeling worse before experiencing true transformation. This is analogous to emptying a cluttered garage to reorganize it; initially, it becomes messier and more chaotic. Yet, this messiness is crucial for authentic change. Similarly, in counseling, we must delve into the muck to uncover the root causes of our pain.

As we progress through the ReStory Process, we encounter significant markers and stages. The initial stage involves catharsis and relief as we begin the counseling process, sharing burdens with a trusted practitioner—a crucial step towards healing and bringing our stories into the light.

However, as we delve deeper, we reach the murky bottom of the lake or the depths of the cave, where buried traumas and the wounded inner child reside. This is where things may become murkier and messier before clarity emerges. Inner resistance, shame, and the need to shield ourselves from painful memories may surface.

A pivotal marker in the ReStory Process involves exploring innocence lost. This necessitates challenging the belief that we are to blame for our trauma or struggles. It requires offering kindness and compassion to our younger selves who did their best with the resources available at the time.

For instance, a child growing up in an emotionally vacant or violent home may turn to pornography as a misguided attempt to find connection and escape emotional pain. While the behavior is not ideal, blaming and shaming the child perpetuates their pain.

The ReStory Process prompts us to release self-blame and shame, extending kindness and understanding to those wounded, innocent parts of ourselves. It's a journey of self-compassion, integrating our stories with grace and redemption.

Though the ReStory Process is deeply personal and unique for each individual, common stages and movements exist within it. After the initial catharsis, we delve into murkier depths, connecting the dots and gaining new awareness. Kindness and blessings are offered to our wounded parts, facilitating healing and a sense of new beginnings.

Ultimately, we reach a stage where the restored parts of our stories integrate into our lives. The ReStory Process becomes a guiding force, leading us toward understanding, wholeness, and genuine living. While it may mark the end of a specific counseling season, the journey of growth and transformation persists.

The ReStory Process is neither an easy path nor a quick fix, but it is a worthwhile journey. It demands courage, vulnerability, and a willingness to face the mess before finding healing. Through skilled counseling and exploring our stories, we can unearth the treasures of self-discovery, freedom, and genuine transformation.

If you're contemplating counseling or already on your Restory journey, remember that discomfort and temporary worsening of symptoms often indicate deep healing. Embrace the process, trust your counselor, and let the light of kindness and grace illuminate the darkest corners of your story.

As expressed in Jason Upton's song "Scarecrow," let's listen to our hearts and discover treasures in our fields, even in the presence of perceived scarecrows. The ReStory Process encourages us to unearth and reclaim the very essence of who we were created to be.

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