In the counseling room, we often find ourselves deeply committed to the stories we have crafted for ourselves and the ways we have learned to survive. However, these same stories can also bring us pain, distance, and relational harm. In this blog post, we will explore the role of kindness in the ReStory approach and the impact it can have on healing and restoring our stories.

In Romans, Paul discusses what leads to repentance and change in our lives. Contrary to popular belief, it is not more rules and regulations or a sense of discipline. Instead, Paul emphasizes that it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance. Kindness has the power to transform us from within, inviting us to change how we engage with the world.

When we think of kindness, we often associate it with being polite or nice. However, kindness goes beyond mere politeness. It is at the intersection of strength and tenderness, where there is a gentleness in the strength that says, "I love you." Kindness is not about being harsh or mean; it is about being bigger, stronger, wiser, and kinder. God exemplifies this kindness towards us, looking at our sins with understanding and inviting us to come back to Him, into His bigger, stronger, wiser, and kinder nature.

As a counselor, it is essential to embody the kindness that others need to start experiencing restoration. While God may seem distant and hard to perceive, you, as a counselor, can represent His kindness. When a person is vulnerable and likely to default to shame, your face of kindness disrupts the narrative they have believed about themselves. It becomes the greatest weapon against evil, bringing them closer to you and reminding them that they deserve love and support.

Kindness is not just an expression of praise or validation; it is a genuine desire to be with someone in their pain. It is relational, generous, and connecting. Kindness breaks through the barriers of shame and rejection, offering a space where individuals can be seen and accepted as they are. It reminds them that not everything about them is wrong or deserving of punishment, but that they are a masterpiece designed by a loving God.

The interchange between two people, two image bearers, has a restorative and renewing quality. When one image bearer bears witness to the other, saying "I see you," Jesus enters and the Spirit of God renews. The interpersonal engagement between a kind person and someone in their story holds tremendous importance in the journey toward healing.

Kindness is not an easy thing to embrace. Many of us struggle to believe that we deserve it or to bear it in those places of vulnerability. It disrupts our understanding of ourselves and challenges the stories we have internalized. However, by accepting and embodying kindness, we can experience transformation and open ourselves up to the possibility of a new story.

Kindness has the power to heal, restore, and bring about change in our lives. By understanding the role of kindness in the Restory approach, we can step into the journey of healing and restoration, both for ourselves and others. Let us embrace kindness as a weapon against evil and a catalyst for real change. As we extend kindness to those in need, we create a space for freedom, connection, and the re-storying of our lives.

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