By Cris Flippen, RN, Spiritual Counselor

It is not a myth, but my personal perspective that as we age the days, months, years, and season do increasein speed. The number of years of my life have never distressed me but in my yesteryears there were disruptions that left scars on my identity and seasons where few were the choices I was given. The journey of reflecting on yesterday and how it continues to cast a shadow into the present is a path worth surveying. I’ve moved into the golden years, and as I consider the chapters of my life, I’m left contemplating what has been uncovered in my heart, mind, and soul.

The past contains messengers that have something to teach us about our hearts’ desires which are worth exploring and cultivating.

As patterns ended and new ones began, I question if I was aware of the entries into new phases of life? Unfulfilled longings marred with regret caused a cringe in my soul, but I did not want to leave the feelings unattended. There are always new opportunities where desires and hopes could remain hidden or could be nurtured for growth.

YESTERDAY 

My young girl dreams of family, academics, and career were placed on a shelf when decisions were made for me. After a divorce and becoming a single mother, my career paths were driven by overwhelming financial pressures. Hope was lost and faith was shallow. My role changed and tending to my needs, aspirations, and unfulfilled dreams was an exercise that stretched my imagination and the fear of failure and cowardice still held a dark shadow over my heart.

The broken pieces of yesterday gave way to new possibilities with a new marriage, growth in family, and new rituals. Hope was arising in my heart, but the pace of family life did not leave time for reflection on the veiled yearnings. There were tears as each son left home and I still feel an ache when the family traditions of summer bbqs, holiday dinners, or joint vacations to celebrate destination weddings come to a close. The time together is always rich with sharing, laughter, and experiencing life through their eyes. Then the question surfaces, what’s next and my mind races at the possibilities. 

The desires that were placed on a shelf were looked at again. Achieving a career change to serve victims of sexual abuse was fulfilling and offered a graceful ending to my nursing career. Academic goals that were placed on hold 30 years earlier were finally accomplished, proving that one is never too old to learn. Hobbies created new space for discovery and volunteer opportunities opened doors to new friendships.

TODAY

The journey of the 50’s are in rearview but full of grateful activities: graduations, weddings, and grandchildren. I no longer feel the hesitation of the young girl who feared she did not fit in. The reflections of a faded past has been washed with redemption. Where there was desolation there has been fresh growth and vibrancy. My cowardice was replaced with resiliency and a comfortable sense of contributing and belonging to the table of women.

The invitation to this table comes from the One who knows me heart, soul, and mind. In Luke 24, on the road to Emmaus, two of Jesus’ followers discuss all that had happened in the past and what they had hoped for. Jesus provides a revelation of Himself and how He brings redemption. He has given me a passion to help women explore their past, how it continues to appear in the present and discover what the future holds.

This invitation is for all women to finish cultivating the desires, dreams, and hopes that her little girl felt she had. The seedlings are still in her heart, within the stories of her yesterday, how it continues to surface today, and how she dreams for tomorrow. Is this you, too? 

1. Do you recognize where you could bring kindness to yourself and tend to your heart, soul, and mind?

2. Does surveying your past raise painful memories to surface?

3. As you reflect on your yesteryears what choices were made for you?

4. Are there unfulfilled longings that could be cultivated? 

These questions are worth pondering and tending to. The journey of looking at the past narratives of our lives do not have to be sealed with regrets. Out of the treasuries of experience, comes wisdom that can bring greater awareness of purpose.

Is it time to embrace your past story and restory the ending?

TOMORROW 

Life in my 60’s, culturally considered the Golden Years, has new boundaries, especially in the season of COVID. Safer at home resonates. I am in the high risk population. The limitations of not being available to physically serve those in need brings an ache to my heart. How many years will my husband and I be given to enjoy together? In all of these unknowns, I accept and use my past to bring new perspective, grace, and understanding into the lives of my family, friends, and community. 

What does tomorrow hold for you?

Cris Flippen, RN, Spiritual Counselor is a gardener at heart. Tending to the hearts of women in their Golden Years is her joy. Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow is the name of a shrub that grows in Mediterranean or tropical climates. The flowers bloom a beautiful periwinkle blue, then turn a lighter blue and then white. Each color represents the fullness of purpose in each season of the flower’s life. Learn more about Cris here.