By Sandhya Oaks

These are wild and crazy times where none of us have control. We are all vulnerable and looking forward to the day when we can safely leave our homes to reconnect with our friends and family who we’ve been physically isolated from, for far too long. 

My mind is filled with thoughts of the many teachers who are exercising intellectual flexibility as they continue teaching their students. And as for those kids in their classes, my heart is tender.  

Especially for the ones that reflect the little girl from my childhood.

Over the last couple of days my heart has been welling up for the little girl who is sheltering in place with her abusive and neglectful family. I am believing for her to find strength and be brave as she feels weary of being in a home where there is so much abuse and fear. If she is like me, she is wondering when I will get out of this place, when will I get to see my friends again and what can I look forward to that will bring me some excitement and joy?  She spends the days in her room to avoid negative encounters with her family. 

Her parents threaten to take away her borrowed school laptop and she fears that this will cut off her chance of learning new things. She knows this is her only true “life-line.” It connects her to recorded messages and lessons from her teacher.  She holds the image of the face and the words from her teacher like a treasure in her heart because she is seeing someone on a screen that cares about her.  

Her days feel long and she makes lists of things that bring life and joy to her. She makes a craft, draws, and sings quietly in her room. She finds a piece of silky silver fabric in a closet in the basement, wraps it around herself and twirls around barefoot on the cold green-painted cement floor.  She is pretending that she is at an elegant ball that is filled with delight and beauty.  This twirling in freedom comes with the scary risk of getting caught by her parents.

She knows that no one will care for her so she finds ways to care for herself. As she snuggles into bed, she grabs a stuffed animal and holds it close to feel near to something as she falls asleep. She finds peace as she unravels her treasured thoughts in a small pink spiral lined notebook. This little girl glances at herself in her bedroom mirror and encourages herself “to hang in there” and “you’ll be okay.”

There is so much hate for the place she is in. She wishes someone who is kind would sit with her and say “I love you” and “all will be well”. She is stuck in a home with a family who continues to mock and shame her as the days go on. She is longing for the day when it is safe to come back to school or hang at a friend’s house. 

This little girl needs her voice to be heard:

I am afraid. I don’t know what is happening. I have so many questions about what is going on in the world. It is so hard being at home every day. I hate being in a home where no one pays attention to me or speaks to me unless it is with harsh or demeaning words. I want someone to care about me because it is a lot of work to care for myself. I wish I had someone who would look me in the eye and assure me that all will be well. I wish I had someone who would play with me, read stories to me and help me with my homework. I can’t wait to be back with my classmates and go back to school. I miss school. School feels normal, safe and fun to me.  I hope this is all over soon, I really miss kindness from the world outside my home.

The painful and dark reality is that there are many little girls and little boys whose journeys mirror this one. There are too many vulnerable little girls and boys who are in homes where kindness is nonexistent, where darkness and evil lurk. It is too much for them to bear and their little souls can’t contain it. 

For the little girl stuck in a dark and horrible home during these unprecedented times... I see you. 

Take heart little girl, because God sees you too. He weeps with you over your pain and wounds. He wants you to know that He loves you and He has a plan for you, even now in the midst of the pain. Be kind and gentle to yourself little one, you will make it through this time. Look for the glimpses of goodness and light around you. May you allow these things to bring you a sense of comfort and hope. You are fierce, lovely and resilient.

3 Practical Steps to Take for Abused Children During COVID:

1. Teachers, take opportunities to have a personal touch point with all your students before the end of the school year to share kindness and encouragement with them. For those kids who are at risk, take a moment to verbally affirm, email, or send a note sharing thoughts of hope you hold for them for their futures. I call this a “hopeful snapshot” of who you believe they will become in the future. This affirms to them that you see them. A small act like this has potential to keep the child from getting stuck in the mental/emotional cloud of grief and darkness and encourages the child to continue to dream, hope, and believe the future holds something good for them. 

2. If you are aware of a child who is at risk in an abusive home it is critical to report it, and to continue reporting as new incidences occur. Provide as much detail as possible when you report it as you are giving the child a better chance at getting the help they need. Trust your gut. If you sense something is wrong, go with it.  It is better to be safe than sorry.

3. Pray for the child and their offenders. Pray for physical, emotional, mental and spiritual protection of the child. Pray for the abuse to be brought into the light and for the appropriate professionals to step in and intervene. Pray for the offenders to become aware of the pain in their own stories so that they may begin to seek help. Pray for God to reveal a message of hope and love to the child through a book, while watching a show or some other means.

May we hold their little faces close in our hearts and minds. May we ask God to show Himself to them in a miraculous way and allow them to experience goodness in their home. May these little ones be strengthened and steadfast. May they be brave and hold on to the hope that they will be someday reconnected with a friend and teacher who offers kindness, gentleness, and love.  May we not condemn but rather bless the ways they are seeking comfort to survive.  May they know that their capacity for resilience is growing and will not be wasted.

Sandhya Oaks is a speaker, advocate, and co-founder of The Adoption Triad. She is passionate about story work, racial reconciliation, developing leaders and has a craving for adventure both near and far! Born in India and adopted at age one, she grew up in Wisconsin and is now based out of the Minneapolis Area. Sandhya is on Staff with Cru (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ) and also serves with The Lenses Institute.  Connect with her on Instagram and Facebook @sandhyaoaks.